Book Giveaway inside!

I finally got our taxes done. 1 thing I can check off my list. whew~ I wasn't sure that one was gonna happen.

Now, I can move on to planning the year ahead. School, Dr. Appointments, bills....ugh I don't know why I was looking forward to this.

I am also excited to let anyone who reads this silly blog know that I am giving away a book. It's not my book. It's a book I recently received in the Booksgiving event I talked about earlier. I received the book "You Are Here" by Jenny Lawson. I read it the night it arrived and I have never felt so connected to a book before. It's easy to see people gush over her books on her blog of course, I think that's just good manners haha

BUT I am not affiliated with her or her blog at all, she most likely has no idea who I am, yet her book has seriously touched my inner most being with this book...and I genuinely love and respect her for writing it..I will be getting both of her other books as well.

LET'S GET BACK TO THE GIVE AWAY!!

I'm giving anyone who needs it or hasn't read it or is just going through a really tough time with depression/anxiety or who just needs something to come in the mail for them to open and distract them for a few minutes...ANYONE that comments that they would like the book..I'm going to buy it for you...because I love you...you are important...and I know you are gonna love this book...and if you don't, no harm no foul...just donate it to a library or a shelter or a thrift store that supports American Veterans...whatever you want...but I think it will touch you, and I want you to read and feel everything in this book...I want you to know you are not alone...you are here and so am I...so are all of us that are feeling alone and depressed.

So that's it, leave a comment here, make an amazon wish list with your shipping address, I won't see your address, I just buy it and it ships to you, your info is kept secret from me...I just want as many people as possible to have this book in their life.

Well, that's all I have for today..don't forget to leave your comment! Keep going, keep breathing, I do <3

See you next time :) 

Alone time? You're just making up words now...

I can't believe it is the 11th already...I said before January is usually the longest month of my year, but this year is already sailing by. I am admittedly busier this year than usual, so maybe that's the key.

My nieces and nephew are leaving this weekend to live in Memphis with their dad's family, until the custody agreement works out. I'm sad to see them go, I knew they couldn't stay with me forever but it's still sad. I mean yea I have 7 of my own, I shouldn't be greedy right?

What sane person wants to have 11 kids in their house? Anyone else? I think I'm a little off.

However, I am also not that mom you see screaming and pulling her hair out if she doesn't get a night out every week or month or YEAR!! yea I don't get out much.

I always have a child with me...ALWAYS...yep even in the shower, I am not alone.

But, it doesn't bother me. I honestly feel weird when I am in the garage at my "office" (hahaha that's a funny word for my space) and the kids may happen to not be talking to me for a few minutes. I will even call one of them to come tell me what's happening, because I assume they are getting into stuff that I will have to clean up or dismantling one of my appliances or maybe summoning a Type 4 pig demon Nalfeshnee from the abyss....all completely manageable situations, as I am a  Tabaxi Rogue and I think I could manage the pig demon...but that's another adventure for another day..hopefully..

I really love my kids. I love being mom 24/7. I love that my 16 yr old still calls me mama, and fusses at his 13 yr old sister if she happens to say "mom"! All of my boys are mama's boys. My 13 yr old, well she's not my biggest fan, but that's also another story for another day.

I don't understand mom's that don't want to be with their kids. I mean I know,I mean I think I know that you sometimes need some alone time...I think I remember getting alone time once when I was like 25ish?..who knows..I bet I was bored..I don't want alone time, probably because I hate myself. I don't want to be alone with me, I'm an asshat...BUT when I'm with my kids, I'm ok, I love their little personalities, and their little quirks, and I love that they aren't asshats! haha

I'm it's terribly unhealthy, but for now my happy place is with my kids...even when I can't hold back tears and look like I just went 30 seconds in the ring with Rhonda Rousy pounding my face because my eyes are so swollen from crying, my kids still love me. Even when I hate myself so much I just want to crawl into a dark hole and die alone, my kids still love me.

They need me and because of them I just keep breathing, I just keep going..everyday.. and for that I thank them and I love them and I hope they never forget that I have loved them everyday of their lives and never regretted one minute I chose to spend with them over myself <3

What a wekend..

I have been holed up in my sewing area for a few days, kind of got lost I think. I started making a purely impulsive bag..no pattern, not for an order...just because. I got stuck at the almost finished state because I don't have the hardware on hand to finish it..probably because I didn't plan it..but whatever it's a great bag and I still think it's gonna be awesome...if I ever finish it.

Is that only me? I had crazy anxiety when I realized I didn't have the right size D rings/sliders to finish it. I kept thinking of ways I could "make it work". Of course, dismissing each of them because that's not what makes it right. So here I am. I've ordered the parts off amazon of course, and it should be here in the next month or so, they weren't on Prime. So that got folded and put on the "To Finish" shelf. A shelf that I'm sure not very many other people even have! I do though. I actually have a shelf that merely holds "recent" UFO's (unfinished objects, for those who may not know) and bins with the rest, randomly stored throughout the garage.  Since I had received 2 orders in the shop for 3 bags, I convinced myself it was ok to let that bag sit until the parts come. I hope I remember where it is when they do :)

I know January is a slow month in general. Even outside of my shop, it has always been the slowest month of the year to me. It's like it seriously never ends..how can the same amount of time seem like soooo much more? I know there are other months with 31 days but January...ugghhh! I am trying to keep myself busy this month and see if I can beat that feeling. This weekend went pretty fast, though, maybe there's a polar shift coming.

My Mr. worked all day Saturday, usually on Saturday if he even has to go in, it's only till after lunch. This time he stayed till a bit after 5, which is kinda good kinda meh..I mean yes any overtime is amazeballs, but until they get his pay scale adjusted, even overtime isn't what it should be. Plus, since he's had so much paid off time for the holidays, some of the overtime wasn't even really OT pay! Apparently, they have to have 40 hours worked, not just 40 hours paid, to get the time and a half pay for over 40 hours.

We were so excited when we first decided to change jobs. I think we are still excited for where it could go..just getting there from here..I'm hoping we aren't homeless before it changes.

Thanks for stopping by, I hope you have an amazing day! Let me know if your January goes by as slow as mine.

Until next time, even when it seems like things aren't changing, even if you feel like you just can't stand another day, even if it seems like the tears just won't stop....just keep breathing, just keep going, I do <3

Christmas is getting sooooo close!

Yea, I know it comes around every year, same time, same place..every..year.  I wonder if I should just raise the kids without Christmas. I know I know...some of you may be gasping with disbelief at such a thought...but I have what I feel are pretty valid reasons.

#1 We don't do Santa anyhow...I never wanted to put the effort into lying to my kids for years just for them to find out the truth and question everything I ever told them...plus, I'm greedy and I want proper credit for any gift we buy the kids...My hubby works so hard all year, and anything we are able to get for them I'm not giving credit to some make believe fat man in a red suit! hahaha

#2 I just can't afford it anymore. Yes, I know, we chose to have these children, and we chose to take in the extra 4 children, but honestly, I can provide a home and food and love to all of them...I just can't afford even 1 gift each anymore. A few years ago, we only had our 5 at the time, and it was hard to get just 1 gift for each one. I don't buy nonsense impractical items for my bunch. Again, that's my choice, I know. So if I am buying them something I want it to be something they really want, something they can use and something that will last. I'm not a dollar store toy buyer, so that I can throw them away in 2 weeks.

#3 I think it is sad to have no snow on Christmas. We live in the South and it is always gross and rainy and sad outside. I miss North Eastern snow, from when I grew up.

#4 I have had to rely on outside sources for the last 2 years...I am so not the kind of person that asks for help just because. I will exhaust all of my options and then re-evaluate if what I thought I needed is really needed! Only if I can validate it after that, I will try to find help to achieve whatever it is. I don't like depending on others. Humans are unpredictable. I am the kind of person that likes to know what is happening, what's going to happen, and what will happen after all that....I like to be prepared. I can't be prepared relying on others.

So in short, I think I'm just feeling a bit discouraged today. 1 of my sons birthdays is coming up on the 22nd as well. One more opportunity for me to disappoint him. Maybe that's it, maybe I am so stressed and depressed because I know that even though I don't like depending on other people, all of these small humans depend on me...and it seems like I just keep letting them down more and more...I hate myself for that.

If you're feeling similar this holiday season, please just try to remember to love all of your peeps, give extra hugs and cuddles, and just keep going..with tears streaming and a box of tissue in tow, just keep going...I do..

Wishing everyone, or maybe just one, who reads this little bit, the warmest and happiest holiday season. Whatever you do or do not celebrate :)

What were you searching for?

Welcome!! You have stumbled upon my little corner of the interwebs where I will be sharing fun projects, sales for my shop, pattern tutorials and just general stuff from my life.

I am a wife to 1 gingerbeard man  and mom and teacher to 7 little pifflesniffs.  We have 10 cats, that I actually allow in the house, there are about 8 more that linger in the neighborhood. I have snagged most of them and spayed/neutered them so hopefully that number doesn't increase. I'm sure you will be introduced to our brood as time goes on, the kids and the cats love to get in on the picture taking.  I also experience severe anxiety and sometimes fall into deep dark pits of depression. I do not have a huge circle of friends in real life, but I honestly don't think I have enough time in the day to entertain anymore people than I already have...so that's ok too.

I hope to share projects, happy little accidents of creating and a passion for creating with anyone who stops by. I also hope that if you become a reader here, when I post about depression/anxiety issues, you will become more aware of what some people may be experiencing, or if you also deal with these issues, maybe I will share something helpful for you to use to manage your own bouts more easily.

We are a pretty eccentric family...I think...I think we are eccentric by 1990 standards probably...maybe there are lots of families like ours today. I am just not aware of them. I do know we are definitely not the norm here in our area.

I am a seamstress at heart, and truly enjoy sewing and creating with fabric and fibers. I have a little Etsy shop, just like every other stay at home mom in the world. I am just a bit of a late bloomer. I only opened it about a year ago.

I hope to give everyone that stops by a little insight and inspiration to create something amazing!