This time she tried to say she saw a man coming in the house from the garage in the middle of the night...of course this is nonsense.
I'm not sure what the trigger was this time, but I know that nobody was in my house...so I decided to take her to the hospital and tell them about her instability and suicidal thoughts. They admitted her and then we moved her to a hospital that deals with this type of stuff.
Shes been gone since the 18th. I've been so much more relaxed and things in the house have been so much easier and I feel like the worst mother on the planet!
I mean shouldnt I be stressed and worried about her more? I dont know...but I am dreading the call when they tell me I have to pick her up..I'm scared she will just run away again and possibly hurt herself..she just doesnt understand...I obviously cant get her to undeestand... so I'm terrified.
But we will see how it goes. I am pretty depressed also because I've had to spend all the money we had for xmas for the kids this year on her hospital stay. Our deductible was $2000 plus 15%...sooo that's gone...
I was so excited because I had some set aside for the online gift project through The Bloggess also. Her James Garfield event has saved us the last 2 years...giving my kids something to open even when I didnt have anything to get them gifts with...i was finally going to be able to give back...now we will be skipping xmas...I cant even get in the spirit enough to sign up for help again...I just feel so defeated.
I hope anyone that reads this and is having trouble finds comfort in knowing that you're not alone, and you just need to keep going...I'm going to keep going, keep trying and keep breathing..through all the struggles and all the tears and all the anxiety and in spite of the depression... I'm going to keep going...I love you dont give up!!
