It's cheese sauce and I paid for it, yet my Mr is judging me...

So the Mr and I rarely get to go out by ourselves to do anything so the other night when we got to go out to a quick dinner we ran! haha

I picked him up from work and we went to Culver's. If you don't know what it is, it is just another burger place like Steak & Shake or Freddy's...I think..They do have really good ice cream..they call it frozen custard...I call it ice cream and the one with Andes Mints in it is so good I'm not sure it's only mint they are putting in there!

So we go and order our food, sit down, they bring it, we start eating and when we are almost finished, I see there's a few fried cheese curds left and well..that just can't be so I grab on e and dip it in the cheese sauce I had to pay for for my french fries...My Mr. stops eating his french fries and looks at me all kind of sideways like I had just put pickles in cottage cheese or something! Like he seriously couldn't believe what I was doing and says...

"you know those are fried cheese, right?"

"uhhh..yea.." I replied.

"why are you dipping them in cheese sauce?" he added, as though he realized I must be in the beginning stages of dimentia and I just thought it was some other kind of dip!

"I paid for the cheese sauce...I'm not going to throw it away! That's like throwing away 76 cents! Who does that?" I say, slightly offended and more confused as to how he doesn't already know and understand everything that is happening in front of him.

He just laughed at me, and said I was pretty...I momentarily considered telling him we need to seriously re-evaluate our relationship, but I just enjoyed my cheese dipped fried cheese curds instead, while wondering how I married a man that could ever have said these things to me..

I hope you are all having a wonderful day/week/month/year...I hope this made you laugh a little, or al lot..it's ok..no judgement :)

I'm working on my videos for the new embroidery machine my Mum sent me last week! If you are interested in that kind of thing it will be on the YouTube channel soon, I'll post it here as well when it's finished.

Until next time, please keep going, keep breathing, keep pushing forward..don't forget to check in on your loved ones and friends, even those who you don't think need it...give love and hugs to  all your peeps..every day!

Empathy...ugh...

I am an overly sensitive super emotional nut case.

Like, for the latest example, my neighbor has lost one of her kitties to cancer. Now, I'm sure you are all thinking, "aww how sad", right? yea it is.

Well, this kitty was very special to her, he came into her life when she was diagnosed with breast cancer herself and he was with her, always by her side through all of her chemo treatments and was just an amazing companion for her.

That may pull a couple heartstrings for a couple more of you, because yea, that makes it so much sadder.

But you've never met my neighbor nor met the cat himself. So, I wouldn't expect much more of a reaction, as those above are completely acceptable reactions in this situation.

I, however, have met my neighbor, only about 3 months ago. Also, I met the kitty..1 time about 12 days ago. So you may still think that the above reactions would be acceptable for my level of involvement with this person and her kitty.

That's where everything goes wrong.

That's where I feel like such a complete mental case.

I have been crying like I lost one of my own kitties. I have been overwhelmed with sadness since the moment I read the words that her kitty was "no longer with us"...I'm crying now..it doesn't make any good sense, right?

I mean of course I would be sympathetic to her loss. As well, I would feel some level of empathy, having known the love of kitties, along with the loss of amazing kitty companions.

However, should I be grieving like I've lost one of my own? Should I be feeling so sad for my neighbor that I only honestly barely know?

This is a huge reason I have pulled myself away from having friends or even social groups. I am too easily triggered and hurt by other peoples actions/words/situations.  I invest myself wholly into relationships and that is my flaw. That and of course that I would only expect someone else to invest that much of themselves into a relationship as well. When they are inevitably unable to do that, I am left feeling stupid and my feelings are hurt.  When it isn't my fault that they aren't like me. It isn't their "fault" either. It is just the way people are.

Everyone is different.

That's good.

I'm definitely not saying everyone should be like me. Good grief nothing would ever get done anywhere..EVER!

I hope maybe one person reading this can relate or at least understand what I am saying. Not necessarily be the same way as I am, but understand people like me.

My Mr. is NOT like me. He's amazing at not showing emotion at all. Ever. Even at his dad's funeral it was hard to see until the end..then it was very subtle..very real...I love him so much.

He is amazing with me. He understands that I am an emotional nut case and he loves me anyhow. I love him for that. If nothing else, I love him for knowing how to love me so well. I love him for knowing when to hug me and kiss my forehead, and tell me it's ok, and we will get through whatever has happened to trigger me in that instance.

So to any and all of you fellow overly empathetic people out there. I truly understand what you're feeling. I know how hard it is, I know how disabling it can be when you wake up with such an immense feeling of sadness that you don't think you can even pull the cover off of yourself to slide out of the bed and make your way 10 feet to the bathroom...but please don't give up, just keep breathing, just keep going, keep sliding out of bed and crawling to the bathroom... I do <3