So, I follow another blog, The Bloggess, and every year at Christmas time she sponsors a huge gift giving shenanigan for kids and families who would otherwise not have any thing. I found it last year and it was an amazing gift for us. I was hoping to return this year to purchase for others, however, that hasn't worked out for us, since my husband changed jobs in April, we have been barely able to keep rent paid, and so I went back again to post a wishlist instead of shop wishlists.
This year is extra strained since we are taking in 4 extra littles, my nieces and nephew, since they lost their mom. They will likely be with us until spring, so I was completely freaked out when I then remembered as they sat in the living room with my kids, that I now have 11 kids to not be able to buy anything for Christmas.
What does that feel like you ask? Well, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt the hot rise in my face, the tingle in my ears and the blur of tears filling my eyes...it felt like I was falling into a deep dark pit and I couldn't find a hand hold to hang on to to pull myself out. I felt hopeless. I know my kids are generally pretty cool and understanding about our inability to purchase frivolous nonsense, and even when they need things like coats/shoes/underwear (gasp!) and I can't immediately hop on amazon and order what they legitimately NEED...they never ever whine or complain..they quietly wait, wearing whatever they have no matter the condition and are extremely grateful when I am able to give them the new item.
I know there are so many people in my situation, or worse even...I am not even familiar with asking for help. I missed all the sign ups this year for local charities, as I have never had to ask before and had no clue sign ups end in October! yea, clueless..So, I had to go back this year to The Bloggess and hope to get on the list of Garfield.
Now, something you should know before you think, oh cool, free stuff let me run over there! It started yesterday, and if you aren't seriously prepared and can get your list up in the first 12 hours or so, it apparently fills really fast. I have been slightly distracted with recent family events, obviously, so I kinda dropped the ball..I didn't get my list up until today...Plus, it's probably the longest list on the page, so I'm sure that will be a deterrent.
You see, I was reading her update, and people have already not been following the rules. She has a short list of rules, you can only ask for books/toys for kids, and possibly coat/socks..she has a $$ cap so that more kids can be helped, but of course there are always those people that just want to take advantage of others, especially at Christmas, because so many people are so generous in December.
Plus, she plugs this adorable little program called Project Night Night, that helps children experiencing homelessness. She sells her books and calendars and advertising space and puts most if not all, of her profits into that project. It's pretty amazeballs, you should check it out.
I hope all of you, or just the one of you, who comes by to read this, finds hope and help if you need it this holiday. I understand how dreadful it can be, I understand how dark it may seem, and I understand the feeling of helplessness you may be feeling. I understand it all too well...but you gotta just keep going..for all the people in your life, for your littles, and just for yourself...don't give up...keep breathing, keep going, keep eating, keep loving your littles everyday...hug them more kiss them more play more games and read more stories...even if you have tears streaming down your face as soon as you wake up to the time your reading Chicken Sisters at bed time...just keep going..I do...
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