Confession time..

Ok..so I have a confession...are you ready?

I have special needs kids.

Yea, I know, doesn't everybody now?

I think that's the first time I've ever typed it. I have just assumed the dr was wrong, I knew I just had to parent them differently, it was something I was doing wrong, that's why we were having so many issues and struggles with things. It wasn't a problem with them, it was me and it was definitely fixable.

I have now come to terms with the fact that my kids are not necessarily going to graduate early, or have straight A's, (even though we homeschool, I just can't manage to make myself shell out an A for Math to my 7th grader who is honestly still struggling with 3rd grade math).  They may not even go to college...and that's ok..right?

I see all the time on social media and even in real life everywhere I go, when I do manage to get out of the house, all these moms excusing behaviour and always saying "oh they're (fill in condition here), they can't be any different, that's just how they are."

I get it. I totally do. Some kids have conditions that legitimately determine how they process/react/behave etc. I empathize and sympathize with these families dealing with seriously disabled children.

However, I've never been a mom to dismiss or excuse my own kids behavior based on any kind of diagnosis they have received, mostly because I've never whole heartedly believed the diagnosis was accurate. ADHD is common in my house. It is also one of my least liked diagnosis. I feel like it is thrown at any kid who just needs a different outlet for their energy, so we have not medicated since hearing that in my kids dr. office. I always strive to teach my children how to behave, how to use common old school manners, things that are not so common any longer, and I have always been told by complete strangers how amazing my kids behave. I have a lot of kids so I think it is more notable in public restaurants, for example, when they do behave.

I remember one specific incident, we were at a local restaurant, on a Saturday night, so of course it was busy. We had 5 under 10 at the time. We sat waiting and ordered and ate and we were waiting for our check when these people came over and said,

 "Excuse me, we just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you're doing with these children. We sat down a little nervous our dinner would be interrupted being so close to a large family with young children, and we were pleasantly surprised that your children were un noticeable. Thank you for teaching them well"

I think that is one of my proudest moments as a mom...no, it is THE proudest moment I've had so far. 3 of those children had been diagnosed ADHD, and 1 has Tourettes.

I know these problems are scaled and I know someone will read this and be like "Well my child is a more severe case, you probably got a bad diagnosis, they can't be ADHD if they aren't being crazy all the time."

I know, I've heard it all before. I have had other mothers tell me I don't have special needs kids, I just say that so I can seem better than them when my kids don't behave like theirs...WHAAAAA??? Really? Is that even really a thing?? I mean, I know it does seem like everyone wants to be special, but are we seriously pretending our kids have conditions now? What is that/?

Before you tell me I'm probably being unfair and bragging and judging these other moms, I'm not..at all..I am saying that you can still teach your children how to behave even if they have special conditions. Are they going to be just like "normal" (what the hell ever that word even means anymore) kids? No, probably not, but they can be proper polite children if taught that.

Yes, it takes way more energy for me to teach my kids things that I think should just be easy peasy. Yes, they make mistakes. Yes, I make mistakes. Yes, it's harder for them and me to get through some things. Yes, we do have days that are absolutely chaotic evil and feel like we are swirling into the 12th level of hell.

No, I will never just let them use any diagnosis as an excuse to behave poorly. That is basically my whole thing.

So, as always, no matter how hard your days or nights are...no matter how hard the struggle seems right now...just keep breathing..just keep going...I do. <3